"EMERGY"

Last Year,leading up to the Christmas holiday I nosied into Toby's list of friends, hoping to find a clue to my daughters whereabouts ,a little news at least. I found a photo with her name. I wish I could have copied it to post it here. The hair colour was not natural,possibly a wig, peroxide white.The person in the photo was dressed in fishnet tights and a seasonally bright red costume more appropriate to swimming than a practical working winter uniform. An alluring image to some I have no doubt. It made me feel nauseous. Emblazoned across the image in electric blue was the word "VODKA".That made me feel worse. I don't habitually subscribe to the alcoholic culture. The image may not have been her at all,there is a lot of that about,the memory of it has however stayed with me,a source of some sadness.
I was moved to write to the Photo given that it had her name on it but as I was ignorant of how Facebook works, if indeed it works at all, I completely messed up sending the message. I even messed up spelling her name correctly. My eyes were full up and I was too anxious to escape from the emotional morass of unhappy feelings to
check what I had done.What I thought I had sent didn't get through.I found that out yesterday. For the record I post the note here. It was meant to be read,there is probably less chance of her getting the message by posting on my blog than if I had just left it to gather dust on a file disk.
Toby,her brother tells me she is shining, to his perception perhaps. Little evidence of that is witnessed from her father's realm. I have little faith in the accuracy of his reportage.He may have cynically conjured a montage for his site just to be provocative, It didn't stay there for long,then neither did my daughters name.


"December 22nd 2008 at 3:06a.m.

No closer to freedom than the Russian revolution.
What iz the vodka label advertising?Don't poison your future family life. Sorry to see you are going grey already.What ever you are selling I have never ever wanted. I love you the way any "fucking sad old twat of a Dad "would, with tears in my eyes.Glamour ain't beauty girl.don't wear the good stuff out, it is meant to last a lifetime.Check out my blog if you're curious,Got any non toxic photos?Dobri dyen Babushka Yalublyu tebeh It's not sirilicscript I didnt finish the course before I left school ,Do the head work yourself.You Know where to find me if you need me."

I hope to write up some of my more tear jerking Christmas tales before the holiday season starts. You will probably be glad I didn't if I fail. Lapsed Christians celebrate in denial of the massacre of their own innocents.